Recap of InsufficientScotty Goes to WWE Raw Part 2

In case you missed Part 1 of my recap, get all caught up here.

Well, let’s just jump right into it, shall we? When we left off CM Punk had just called Jericho bullshit and stormed up off the ramp with his best sad face. And then what happened? Read on after the jump

Next up is a match between Kane and his crazy welding mask and The Big Show. At this point I lean over to the dude next to me and go “Bet you Cody Rhodes is out within 30 seconds”, and indeed he is. They didn’t show a lot of it on TV, but Rhodes shadowboxing outside the ring is hilarious. Rhodes distracts Big Show, which allows Kane to get the quick choke slam for the win. Afterwards, Rhodes handcuffs Big Show to the ropes, and proceeds to “viciously beat” Show in the face with his boxing gloves. And by “viciously beat”, I mean “look like he’s playing patty cake”. While they all made real contact, from up close you can clearly tell hes not punching with any speed or force and it just looked silly. So Rhodes punches Big Show several times in the face, and when he’s finally free he way oversells it like hes got a broken ankle and can barely walk. It went on for far too long and was pretty funny to watch, as the TV cut away fairly early on, but it just kept meandering on live. Also, while I’m talking about Cody Rhodes, am I the only one who is weirded out that Cody is Goldust’s younger brother? I didn’t immediately pick up on the connection because I was like “No way, the age difference is just too much.” But it’s true. Dustin Rhodes is nearly twice as old as his younger brother. Dusty Rhodes must have been getting busy both early and late, truly living “The American Dream”.

Up next is David Otunga versus Santino. Are we done with Otunga yet? I get it, he is awfully cut, but he can’t wrestle for crap. He botches week in and week out. Santino comes out to a huge pop. I’ll admit, I’m rooting for him and his silly cobra. He’s awesome. The match starts out with a pose off, which could only remind me of the god awful program between Rick Rude and Ultimate Warrior between Royal Rumble and Summer Slam ’89, what with the posedown and bench press contents. I’m sure if I could see that Santino’s abs were painted on, it would have been funnier. Still it was a pretty electric match, and I particularly like it when Santino smashed Johnny Ace’s phone. Who still has a Razor?

Up next is the Rock and his video promo. They went the obvious route and had the Rock at the Rocky statue outside the Art Museum. Who didn’t see that coming? While it was a pretty awesome promo, I paid to see you live at the show, not live via tape delay. Though I did enjoy the picture of 12 year old rock in front of the statue dressed like “a chubby little girl with his fruity pebbles showing”. Why did we ever think such tiny shorts were fashionable? It was also nice to see him acknowledge all the great ones, and he even does some pretty good Warrior and Macho Man impressions. That bit took up a whole segment that could have been some wrestling.

Right before we go to break, Daniel Bryan’s music hits and he comes down to the ring, along with AJ, his kayfabe girlfriend. Then for about 4 minutes while we wait to get back from commercial, everyone just stands around in the ring with the lights down, talking to the refs. One thing I noticed, the refs all wear an earpiece. I wonder who and what exactly they are hearing? Once we’re back, Zack Ryder comes out to his Woo Woo Woo. Honestly, I can’t tell you much about this match. For one, I don’t really get Daniel Bryan, nor do I think he is a deserving champ. Also, I was too busy staring at AJ. They don’t really show her much on TV (at least on Raw, they apparently have been using her a lot on Smackdown, but I am usually out on Friday nights), but she is a cute little thing they should use more often. She must be just over 5′ and can’t weigh more than 98 pounds.

Up next is a match between John Cena and Mark Henry. Another match I don’t care about. I don’t get why Mark Henry is even around anymore, with all his injuries, he can barely even walk. The crowd tonight is VERY pro Rock tonight, I can only hear one person on Cena’s side. This is a terribly slow match, as both Henry can barely move, and after his earlier accident that morning and with WrestleMania two weeks away, Cena isn’t really pushing it. It’s at this point the TV coverage cuts away during the match. What happens while we are away at commercial? Henry keeps Cena in a headlock, the whole time. Talk about boring. It’s at this time me and the guys around me all start chanting “Sexual Chocolate!”. Soon the match is over, and we get The Rock’s only live (TV) appearance of the night, he runs down, Rock Bottoms Henry, and immediately leaves. Really, that’s all the Rock we get live? Really? Those at home must have been bummed. I totally get where Cena is coming from saying Rock barely shows up for things. Fortunately, we don’t get to hear either of them really speak this week, after last week’s terrible Rap vs. Rock battle.

Now we have a match between The Miz and Sheamus. Miz comes out and gets to comparing himself to King Kong Bundy. As far as I know, Miz was never in an episode of Married With Children as Peggy’s brother. Frankly, Miz is good, but he never deserved the main event in the first place. Sheamus’ music hits, he comes down, they scrape for a bit, and Sheamus hits the Brogue kick. I don’t know if you can truly appreciate it at home, but compared to Miz’s tan, Sheamus looks like a damn albino, minus the red hair. His whiteness is simply blinding under the houselights.

After that is a nonsensical rant/interview from the top of the ramp from Randy Orton. What you can’t see on TV is they set up a huge overhead light bar just out of camera view on the ramp to make sure you can see everything. It’s kinda ridiculous. So after wasting two minutes there, we have a tag match between Mr. Perfect lookalike Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger and his new little boy’s haircut versus R-Truth and Kofi Kingston. Ziggler and Swagger come out with Vickie Guerrero in tow, whose voice is even more grating in person. Truth is really into the match and putting on a show, waving and clapping, getting the crowd to chant. He gets the tag and clears the ring, but of course, loses the match because Ziggler is a cheater and Vickie pushed Truth’s foot off the ropes. This leads to a totally awesome catfight between Aksana and Vickie as she tries to explain to the ref what happened.

So now it’s time for “The End Of An Era”, which is code for “3 old guys stand around looking pensive at each other”. First up is Mr. WrestleMania himself, Shawn Michaels. This time, there is no warning we are back from commercial, and his pyro just goes off and scares the crap out of everyone and just keeps going and going. He comes down and blabs for a minute maybe, then the lights go out and Taker’s music hits. Even after 20 years, it’s still intimidating, and the crowd goes bonkers. Then, Taker tells Micheals to shut up, and just as quick HHH comes down, not in his business suit, but a D-X T-shirt. Then they all stand around looking at each other for two minutes, repeating the same things they’ve all said for the last month. Taker says Michaels really is better than HHH and leaves, Michels smirks at HHH and leaves, and with that we come to the close of the televised portion of the show. Can we just get this feud started already? Last year’s match was legendary, but I’m tired of all this talking, I just wanna see some ass kicking, and Taker without all the hair.

So now the cameras are off, the television show is done. But out comes The Miz. He starts talking trash about Philadelphia, calling us a city of losers who can just never get the job done (which, in reality, is true, not gonna lie). Who should come out to defend the pride of our hometown but the Rock? It was pretty exciting actually. The Rock showed a picture of him working out that morning at the NovaCare center with some of the Eagles, who happened to be sitting front row right across from me. Miz called them all losers as well, and the Rock “Guanant(ied) they will kick your pansy ass”. It was at this point my section started chanting “Cleveland Sucks”, which really seemed to rattle Miz, as he basically retorted with “Nat uhh, Cleveland Rocks!”. At this point the crowd starts chanting “People’s Elbow!”, the Rock tell Miz to shut his trap, and for everyone to take out their cameras, as we are about to experience a moment. He Rock Bottoms Miz, then gives him a Peoples Elbow, he had to fake the elbow pad thing as he wasn’t wearing one, but he just threw up his shoulders with a laugh and proceeded anyway. At that the Rock’s music hit and he left the ring and started walking around shaking hands on his way out while Miz just lay there. There was a baby in a “Team Bring It” onesie a few seats over from me, that the Rock called up to the barrier, and held him and took pictures with the baby and the parents like a politician. It was pretty cool. And that was how the show ended.

So what were my overall thoughts? It was a pretty fun time considering I went by myself. All the other people around me were pretty cool and chatty. I would have enjoyed actually seeing more people in person, rather than video bits, preferably actually wrestling than talking. I know the WWE transitioned to more soap opera than sport long ago, but still. When you’re there, you get swept up in the emotion, which builds all night long. During the dark matches I spent most of my time trying to take pictures, but come the main event (as you can see in the main picture for Part 1) I was totally into it and playing along, doing my best “OH NO HE DIDN’T!” faces and everything. You can’t help but get involved when there are little kids around you super excited to be there, screaming their lungs out. I don’t remember there being any post show climax the last time I was at Raw, but I have to say I appreciate them giving me something only seen by the live fans, as the dark matches end up on the internet shows.

But the overall arch of wrestling hasn’t ever really changed much. The Face beats up the Heel. That’s just how it goes. I seem to remember there was alot more variety back in the day though. I’ve only really been watching Raw since Royal Rumble, but it seems like it’s the same 12 people every week in the same matches. This week its CM Punk vs. Jack Swagger. Next weeks it’s Punk and Shamus vs. Swagger and Ziggler. Next week its Punk Vs. Ziggler. Repeat ad nauseam. They have a pretty wide roster, use some of it. Not every match of the night needs to be advancing a story.

So, was it worth $250? I don’t think so. Was it a fun time? Definitely. If you get the chance, you should go just for the experience. If you have kids, they will have a blast. So now who want’s to go see a NASCAR race with me?

JohnScott is the proud owner of a life size replica Captain Kirk Chair. He is a hoarder of Comic Books, Transformers, and Star Trek action figures. He attended Space Camp as an adult. He has taken vacations to the closing of the Star Trek Experience and the final night Shuttle launch. He has been known to yell at his television when the kids can't put together the damn statue in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. When not writing for InsufficientScotty, he is a Software Engineer for a major healthcare communications company. You can Email or follow on Twitter @NotEnoughScotty or Facebook