Friday Five – Holiday Traditions

Welcome to the Friday Five. Each week I help you get to know me a bit better with the help of a top five list. This week I list my favorite holiday traditions.

Everyone has a set of traditions for the holidays, even if it’s just getting drunk and hating your family while eating their shitty food and watching It’s a Wonderful Life.

1. 24 hours of A Christmas Story

 

2. It’s more a Thanksgiving thing, but I fucking love PUMPKIN PIE!

 

3. I wouldn’t call it a ‘favorite’, but it is a family tradition. We take bets on how long it will take for someone to start discussing horribly disgusting bodily functions, usually coming down to vomit or diarrhea. Never have we had a family dinner where this has not happened.

 

4. The other big tradition I get is getting harassed about my lovelife/job from the rest of my family. I’m the middle child of all my relatives. My aunt has a daughter 4 years older than me, and a son 2 years older. My uncle has two daughters 4 and 6 years younger, and a son 8 years younger, so were all pretty evenly spaced out. The oldest two female cousins are both married, the older male one is also in IT, but he does more tech support type stuff, yet owns his own home. The youngest two are too young to really compare with. Up until recently, I was the black sheep of the family, being as I am the independent only child who lives out of state. Now I have the awesome job, and while I don’t own a home (yet), or have a girlfriend (because of the hoarding and not wanting anyone in my apartment), I’m doing pretty OK I think. Well, certainly better than the youngest female cousin, who is currently in jail for stealing from Wal-Mart to support her meth habit. Well, not stealing directly. What she and her scummy boyfriend did was troll the parking lot for receipts, then use those receipts to return merchandise they would then steal for cash. That seems needlessly complicated and unoriginal. Not only would you have to find a receipt for a big ticket purchase to make it worth your while, you also needed to find a cash receipt, so you could get money back, otherwise you just get credit back on your credit card. Didn’t they do that in Garden State? Or what about that episode of Full House where Kimmy Gibbler stole designer jeans then tried to sell them to make extra money? It seems like it would be easier to just steal items and then pawn or Craigslist them. This was after the scheme she pulled as a bank teller where the boyfriend would come make withdrawals from her window, and she’d slip him extra bills. TV has taught us many times that stupid crime doesn’t pay. Guess she didn’t learn. Now who’s the black sheep! Sorry, that got weirdly dark and personal there for a bit.

 

5. Honestly, I just enjoy a day off from work.

JohnScott is the proud owner of a life size replica Captain Kirk Chair. He is a hoarder of Comic Books, Transformers, and Star Trek action figures. He attended Space Camp as an adult. He has taken vacations to the closing of the Star Trek Experience and the final night Shuttle launch. He has been known to yell at his television when the kids can't put together the damn statue in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. When not writing for InsufficientScotty, he is a Software Engineer for a major healthcare communications company. You can Email or follow on Twitter @NotEnoughScotty or Facebook