Saturday Six – Evil Clowns

Welcome to the Saturday Six, where each week I let you get to know me a bit better with the help of a list. Any idiot can do a Top 5 list, which is why I kicked it up a notch to a Top 6. This week’s topic: Evil Clowns.

Freakin’ clowns, man. Some love them, some are indifferent about them, and some are just downright terrified of anything resembling them. With everyone talking about The Joker again after yesterday’s reveal of what he’ll look like in the Suicide Squad movie (pictured above), what better time than now to talk about some of the best characters to ever justify one of society’s most common fears? Hope some of you weren’t planning on sleeping any time soon!

1. The Joker (Batman) – Might as well get him out of the way now. The inspiration for writing this list, The Joker is one of the longest-running consistent villains of all time. Whether you didn’t get all of the hype until Heath Ledger helped comic based movies become a thing people can openly admit to enjoying, or you’ll always believe Mark Hamill is the real, true voice of the character, it seems like this is one clown everybody loves to hate . . . whether it’s one interpretation of him or another.
2. Pennywise (It) – This just wouldn’t be a proper evil clown list without Tim Curry providing some serious nightmare fuel to an already creepy Stephen King story. Decades after the movie’s release, just an image of Pennywise is enough to remind some people of how scared they were by the movie . . . which says a lot, really, considering how his last victim in the movie was the suspension of disbelief.
3. The Clown / Violator (Spawn) – When a tall, skinny demon from Hell decides to take on a human form while on Earth, his choice is apparently a morbidly obese guy with clown makeup and hair. Strange and illogical as that may be, this clown is arguably the toughest one on this list, with abilities ranging from the obvious shapeshifting, to superhuman strength and healing. Despite having been killed many times, he fortunately isn’t allowed to return the favor – his sole purpose being to test Spawn’s ability to serve in Satan’s army. How pleasant.
4. Captain Spaulding (House of 1000 Corpses & The Devil’s Rejects) – Say what you will about Rob Zombie’s film directing abilities, it’s hard to argue that this guy isn’t damn creepy. Fantastically played by Sid Haig, Spaulding goes from loveable weirdo to scary psycho in between the two films. Coincidentally, he also delivers some of the most memorable lines in them.
5. Killer Klowns From Outer Space – A bunch of aliens resembling clowns coming to Earth to harvest the human race? Sounds like the perfect kind of cult classic that would come from the end of the ’80s. This movie and its kast of killers were just the right kind of weird to freak people out and become a considerable success. What’s even better is that the Klowns are attempting a return trip for a 2016 sequel, assuming they manage to avoid “development hell” along the way.
6. Needles Kane / Sweet Tooth (Twisted Metal) – Last, but certainly not least, is the most popular clown in the gaming world. As if the name Needles wasn’t enough to say this guy has issues, there’s also the added bonus of his head being on fire most of the time. The games described him as a serial killer throughout the series, but it wasn’t until Twisted Metal: Black that his story was properly explained, and we saw just how much of a sick freak he really is. Still, that didn’t stop countless gamers from hopping in his ice cream truck and blasting away whoever else was unfortunate enough to exist anywhere near where he felt like driving at the time.

Jeremy Harrison has been into gaming and just about everything nerdy or out of the norm for as long as he can remember. He likes to keep an open mind about things, but also has a strangely high amount of fun getting into a rant or good debate. . . which is probably why he was recruited to this site in the first place. You can Email Jeremy or follow Jeremy on Twitter @NightmareAsylum or Facebook