7
Jun
2013
Friday Five – Fictional Jerks
Welcome to the Friday Five, where each week I let you get to know me a bit better with the help of a Top 5 list. This week’s topic: Fictrional Jerks
Not everyone is a good person. In fact, a vast majority of people tend to be downright jerks. But often times, watching bad things happen to jerks can be incredibly entertaining. I believe the Germans call it schadenfreude.
- Biff Tannen – Back to the Future – He bullies both Marty and his dad, shows up drunk to the Enchantment Under the Sea dance, then pretty much stalks and then tries to rape Marty’s mom. But because it’s the 50’s everyone just kinda laughs it off as “Oh, that Biff’s a real character!” I think the alternate 1985 shows us just what a dick he really is when he gets his way.
- Thomas Edison – He’s not fictional, but he pretty much the worst person in the history of ever, so he gets included anyway. His douchebaggery is well documented over at TheOatmeal , but the short version is that he basically stole every idea he ever had and didn’t ever do Jack Shit himself.
- Nelson Muntz – The Simpsons – Ha-Haw!
- The dog – Duck Hunt – Fuck that smug arrogant son of a bitch and everything about him! I think everyone has wanted to shoot him, which apparently you can do in the arcade version or in a different light gun game, Barker Bill’s Trick Shooting in the Ballon Saloon stage.
- George Costanza – Seinfeld – While he may be something of a personal hero, and pretty much exactly like me, the Jerk Store is definitely out of him. Be it knocking over old ladies trying to get away from a fire, popping a Bubble Boy’s bubble after a spirited game of Trivial Pursuit, driving all the way to the Hamptons rather than admit he was lying, or using the cheapest most toxic envelopes possible for his wedding invitations which end up killing his fiance, pretty much everything he does is the worst thing ever.
 JohnScott is the proud owner of a life size replica Captain Kirk Chair. He is a hoarder of Comic Books, Transformers, and Star Trek action figures. He attended Space Camp as an adult. He has taken vacations to the closing of the Star Trek Experience and the final night Shuttle launch. He has been known to yell at his television when the kids can't put together the damn statue in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. When not writing for InsufficientScotty, he is a Software Engineer for a major healthcare communications company.
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