Saturday Six – Christmas Movies

Welcome to the Saturday Six, where each week I let you get to know me a bit better with the help of a list. Any idiot can do a Top 5 list, which is why I kicked it up a notch to a Top 6. This week’s topic: Christmas Movies.

Yes, I realize Christmas was two days ago. But if movies have taught me anything (and they have, practically everything I know I learned from movies), it’s that Christmas isn’t just a day on a calendar, but a feeling that can last the whole year through if you really try. So here’s a list of my favorite Christmas films you can watch anytime to get some Christmas cheer.

1. A Christmas Story – Can there really be any other choice when it comes to Christmas movies? Pretty much nothing happens. There’s no real plot or action. It’s just a bunch of things that happen around Christmas. But Jean Shepard’s writing, and superb acting by the whole cast makes it a classic. Sure it was a bomb in theatres, but though sheer force of Ted Turner’s will to make money (in a totally anti-Christmas capitalist way) , it became an annual tradition.

 

2. Love Actually – I love the interconnectedness of all the various stories weaving in and out. It’s also got a tremendous cast, including a very British, pre-Walking Dead Andrew Lincoln. This is probably the best example of of the power of the Christmas Spirit to bring people together. It’s also pretty much the last time the “run through the airport to catch your true love” trope was used, after September 11th kinda made that impossible anymore.

 

3. The Nightmare Before Christmas – Every goth kid’s favorite Christmas movie, and proof that the Christmas spirit doesn’t have to be confined just to around Christmastime. Or to people who even understand what the hell the holiday is all about.

 

4. Gremlins – What kind of lazy irresponsible father is Billy’s dad? He’s downright Homer Simpsonesque. “Yeah yeah, three rules or mass destruction will follow, right right, I got it!”. He gives his son a wildly dangerous gift without even a second thought. A red Rider BB gun is one thing, but a literal tiny monster is in a whole different class. He’s the kind of dad who buys those shitty toys they have at the dollar store or the gas station. “See look, I got you a. . . um. . . a thing. You like things, right?” All those people died because he couldn’t just get his kid a nice football or cold hard cash like a regular detached parent.

 

5. Star Trek Generations – Not so much a Christmas movie per say, but Christmas does play an integral part. It is during the weird Victorian Christmas celebration with his non existant family and recently deceased nephew that, while looking at the one ornament on the tree that blinks like a starburst, Picard realized he’s been transported into the Nexus. Without that prodding, Picard could have stayed there forever, and we never would have had the awesome Picard meets Kirk moment and the subsequent asskicking they laid down on Soren to save the day.

 

6. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians – Apparently all it takes to defeat an entire planet is just one fat bearded guy in a red suit. Good to know. OK, it’s one of the crappiest movies ever, but it was a tradition growing up watching the MST3K version of it Christmas morning. And besides, if you don’t get “Hooray For Santy Claus” stuck in your head watching it, you must be a Martian.

 

JohnScott is the proud owner of a life size replica Captain Kirk Chair. He is a hoarder of Comic Books, Transformers, and Star Trek action figures. He attended Space Camp as an adult. He has taken vacations to the closing of the Star Trek Experience and the final night Shuttle launch. He has been known to yell at his television when the kids can't put together the damn statue in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. When not writing for InsufficientScotty, he is a Software Engineer for a major healthcare communications company. You can Email or follow on Twitter @NotEnoughScotty or Facebook