5
Apr
2013
Friday Five – Pranks
Welcome to the Friday Five! Each week I help you get to know me a bit better with the help of a top five list. This week’s category: Pranks!
OK, so maybe I’m not so good at pranks. Maybe my aren’t all really “pranks”, they are pretty much hate crimes that will get you arrested. Let’s just say that I may have done all of these, as the statutes of limitation may not be done with yet. You probably don’t want to mess with me and make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
- Dead Meat Sun Tea – In which you get a small glass jar, fill it with the nastiest stuff you can find (raw chicken, milk, eggs, drippings from the bottom of the food dumpsters out behind the deli, etc), and then let it ferment for like a month in direct sunlight. Then you smash the glass jar on someone’s doorstep. The smell will be horrendous and they’ll have to clean it and the glass shards up while trying not to vomit.
- Carmel-pectate Onion – In which, rather than a caramel apple, you use an onion, which you have first covered in Kaopectate, so when they bite into it thinking it’s an apple, they take a chunk out of an onion, then get constipated. Juvenile, and hard to effectively pull off.
- Buck Urine in the Air Intake – This one’s easy and very effective. Go to the sporting goods store, and buy a vial of Concentrated Buck Urine from the hunting department. Then pour it in the air intake of someone you hate’s car. They will then have to sell that car, as that smell never goes away. Bonus points if you can be sure to turn on the heater first.
- Homepage intercept – Setting it so that whenever someone opens their browser, it takes them to a page that shouts very loudly “I’m watching gay porn!” over and over. When I worked in a call center, someone had that done to them, and managed to trigger it while on the phone with a customer. Needless to say, the customer didn’t find it all that funny. The rest of us, however, thought it was hysterical.
- Facebook “Hack” – If you leave your phone unlocked, and logged into Facebook, you are now gay. You should know better.
 JohnScott is the proud owner of a life size replica Captain Kirk Chair. He is a hoarder of Comic Books, Transformers, and Star Trek action figures. He attended Space Camp as an adult. He has taken vacations to the closing of the Star Trek Experience and the final night Shuttle launch. He has been known to yell at his television when the kids can't put together the damn statue in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. When not writing for InsufficientScotty, he is a Software Engineer for a major healthcare communications company.
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