21

Feb

2014

Friday Five – Favorite Burgers

Posted By on Friday February 21, 2014 at 3:10 pm
To Food, Friday Five

cheeseburger
 
Welcome to the Friday Five! Each week I help you get to know me a bit better with the help of a top 5 list! This week’s category: BURGERS!
 
My taste in burgers can pretty much be summed up by Ron Swanson – “It’s a hamburger made out of meat on a bun with nothing. Add ketchup if you want, I couldn’t care less.” If you put quality meat on a bun and don’t cook the shit out of it, it’s delicious. Since, as I’ve discussed before, I can’t handle ketchup or mustard, I don’t get a lot of fast food burgers, so I went a bit out of the box on my picks.

  1. The Luther – The Boondocks – “A full pound of burger patty covered in cheese, grilled onions, five strips of bacon, all sandwiched between two Krispy Kreme donuts.” I had one once. I then slept for like 7 hours within 20 minutes of eating it. You can read about (and see) it here.

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  2. Ron Swanson’s turkey burger – Parks and Recreation – “Is that a fried turkey leg inside a grilled hamburger?”

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  3. Ass burger – South Park – “It’s the chemical compounds from all our flavors. Pizza Hut, Burger King, KFC, all somehow infused into one burger.” “It’s as if he’s somehow taking all the ingredients of our food, breaking them down into some kind of… gas. And then somehow… infusing that gas into his hamburger. What kind of instrument could he be using to do this?” “It would have to be some sort of super Dutch oven!”

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  4. Steamed Hams – The Simpsons – “22 Short Stories about Springfield” is one of my favorite episodes of The Simpsons, mostly for this bit.

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  5. The Mooby’s Cow Tipper – Clerks II – “Saddle up to the meanest 6 pound pile-of-meat this side of the Rio Grande”

 
steamed hams

is the proud owner of a life size replica Captain Kirk Chair. He is a hoarder of Comic Books, Transformers, and Star Trek action figures. He attended Space Camp as an adult. He has taken vacations to the closing of the Star Trek Experience and the final night Shuttle launch. He has been known to yell at his television when the kids can't put together the damn statue in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. When not writing for InsufficientScotty, he is a Software Engineer for a major healthcare communications company.

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