Saturday Six – Bald Characters

Welcome to the Saturday Six, where each week I let you get to know me a bit better with the help of a list. Any idiot can do a Top 5 list, which is why I kicked it up a notch to a Top 6. This week’s topic: Bald Characters

As you may have seen over on the Facebook page, this year for Halloween I went as Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Because if you’re gonna do something, you should do it all the way, this necessitated that I shave my head. Now that I myself am bald, as I look around, I see far more bald people than I ever noticed. So that’s what brings me to this list of people I immediately think of when you say “bald”.

1. Kojak – I have no idea why my mind goes straight to Telly Savalas when I picture someone who’s bald, but it does. I was too young to have ever actually watched Kojak when it was on the air. Maybe I saw one of the made for TV movies. Or maybe it’s because of those incessant Player’s Club Gold commercials that used to run all the time in the late 80’s.

 

2. Mr. Clean – He only has two real character trails: He cleans, and he’s bald. That’s pretty much it.

 

3. George Costanza – George is a bit of a personal hero of mine, because he’s very similar to myself. Sure, I never poisoned my fiance with cheap envelope glue, but I have complained about having to bring something when invited somewhere, and see no reason why that something can’t be Ring Dings and Pepsi. Everybody likes Ring Dings and Pepsi!

 

4. Jean Luc Picard – Proof positive that bald is beautiful and you don’t have to have perfectly quaffed hair to project authority. When The Next Generation was first coming out, a reporter asked of Gene Roddenberry on the subject of casting Patrick Stewart “Surely they will have cured baldness by the twenty-fourth century?”. Roddenberry’s response: “By the twenty-fourth century, no one will care.” We aren’t there yet, but maybe someday. . .

 

5. Lex Luthor – Except for that weird period where he put his brain in a clone of himself, and tried to pass for his own son (the 90’s were a weird time in comics), Lex has almost always been shown to be bald. The explanations have changed through the years though. Sometimes it’s natural, sometimes it’s brought on by the cancer he gets wearing a kryptonite ring, sometime’s it was a chemical fire. Whatever the reason, he’s still an evil asshole who ends up losing his hair eventually.

 

6. Homer Simpson – He may be fat, dumb, and bald, but he always manages to keep his hot wife right by his side, and that makes him a role model.

 

JohnScott is the proud owner of a life size replica Captain Kirk Chair. He is a hoarder of Comic Books, Transformers, and Star Trek action figures. He attended Space Camp as an adult. He has taken vacations to the closing of the Star Trek Experience and the final night Shuttle launch. He has been known to yell at his television when the kids can't put together the damn statue in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. When not writing for InsufficientScotty, he is a Software Engineer for a major healthcare communications company. You can Email or follow on Twitter @NotEnoughScotty or Facebook