With today being the release of Star Trek: Into Darkness, I’m celebrating with a sci-fi list. Not best series or anything, but best elements from sci-fi.

What with Mother’s Day being this weekend, this week I’m picking my favorite Fictional Moms. Most of them are actually horrible when it comes to mothering, but that doesn’t make them any less entertaining. In fact, it’s probably just the opposite.

Not every super power is useful. I mean, I think we can all agree that money is the best superpower (see: Batman and Iron Man). But for every radioactive spider bite that gives you super strength and the ability to climb walls, there’s an mutant who can change their hair color at will, which is not great for winning fights with Magneto.

I bet when you hear the word “doctor”, you immediately think of a physician. There are many different types of doctors throughout all media who were awesome characters, and only some of them have a degree.

Let’s say your rich Uncle Pennybags is killed in some shady dealing gone wrong (as is wont to happen in Atlantic City), and you’re left with a fortune. What would you do with it? Personally, I’d waste it on stupid crap, and tons of hookers and blow. While maybe I can’t go out to the store and pick up some of my choices, I’d do my damndest to make them realities.

With Jurassic Park being re-released in 3D this weekend, I’m examining my favorite real life dinosaurs.

Like most kids, I went through a huge dinosaur phase. Mine might have been a bit larger than most since I lived less than 2 miles from the Haddonfield marl pit, which is the discovery location of the Hadrosaurus Foulkii, the first nearly complete dinosaur fossil ever found. My 4th grade class was instrumental in getting it named the state dinosaur of New Jersey. I used to go to saturday classes over at the Natural History Museum, but was asked to stop attending, because I knew more than the teachers and made sure they knew it. And in a real douchey way, like “Thats not a Brontosaurus, it’s an Apatosaurus, get it right!”. This was when I was like 6, so I’ve always been an asshole. My knowledge isn’t as vast as it used to be, but I like all the highly specialized dinosaurs with like one unique feature that sets them apart. Also, I think T-Rex is pretty much implied.

OK, so maybe I’m not so good at pranks. Maybe my aren’t all really “pranks”, they are pretty much hate crimes that will get you arrested. Let’s just say that I may have done all of these, as the statutes of limitation may not be done with yet. You probably don’t want to mess with me and make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

Sometimes you’re sitting there, watching a tv show or movie, and something happens that makes you jump out of your seat and go “Oh shit son! Shit done just got real!” This week I list my favorite such moments where someone did not literally say “Oh Shit”.